Reid’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 2

Ok, here we go.   So there are 18 girls remaining and they all go to Sonoma, Ben’s hometown. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about Ben’s helmet head haircut and I tend to agree it should change unless he’s going to a jam band show. He looks like he’s going to a Phish Show or something.  Put some hemp on him to complete the look but hey, I’m no stylist.

So the girls are all living in a Sonoma house for the week. They are all impressed and excited to move into the beautiful house. When they finally walk through the front door one girl says, “Oh my God, Is this real life?” I don’t know about anyone else but that sound bite reminded me of the Dentist Kid viral video. Anyone else ever see that?

The date card comes pretty fast. Kacie B. gets the first date and seems truly pleased and enthusiastic. I think everyone has liked her from the beginning.  Shes a true contender who I think  can make it to the end.

Kacie’s lucky she’s cute and we all know why: “I’m excited to go out with him on a one-on-one because now I’ll get to know even more about him.” Duh…that’s the point. I can’t make that much fun of her because she is cute, sweet and genuine.

Their date was VERY innocent as they strolled around the town of Sonoma.  At dinner I’m not sure I would notice a difference had it been two grandparents sitting and eating in their place.  BORING but that could be a good thing and they did seem very comfortable together. Then they march down the street to patriotic music as Kacie teaches Ben how to twirl a baton. Kind of reminded me of Police Academy for some weird reason. They seem good for each other but this was either two 12 year olds on a date together or two 90 year olds. They end up in the empty town theater where they are surprised by what comes on the screen: childhood videos. The first video is of Kacie as a child twirling the baton and hanging with her family to nostalgic music. Then, a similar video with Ben comes on, which obviously chokes him up because he hasn’t heard his dad’s voice for 5 years. They both cry. Kacie gets the rose, obviously. She’s safe. The one thing that was weird to me is when Kacie says “I THINK that I have found what COULD be a lifetime of love with Ben.”

Cue the Date Card. DATE CARD! THE GIRLS ALL YELL as my eardrums get blown out because I was watching with headphones in. Dang date card almost made me go deaf. Basically all of the girls except for Casey, Courtney, Kacie and I forget who else, did not get asked on the date.

They all go perform a play written and choreographed by kids which was pretty funny. You’ve got to love kids. The girls individually audition for parts in front of the kids as they yell out random scenes for the girls to act out. Obviously, Jenna was the only one who had a problem with what the kids told her to do. I think they asked her if she can be a ginger bread man and she said, “can we skip and go to the next?” Blakeley is wearing slut gear and the kids know it. They tell her to jog in place because something or some things would jiggle and then they tell her to turn to the side. It was hilarious. Afterward, they interviewed two kids about Blakeley’s try at acting. The little girl said, “I wasn’t a fan of her,” and the little boy said, “I thought she did good.” Hahaha.

Meanwhile back at the house Courtney, Lindzi, Kacie and Casey are talking about roses. This is when we really see Courtney’s evil side. She is a dead ringer for Penelope the SNL character. You know who I mean? The one upper? “What is the first impression rose anywayyyyy sooo…I actually got 5 first impression roses…but they were in private sooo….I’m pretty much better than all of you….I think the horse got the first impression rose… so…I’m not gonna beat a dead horse…so…” Geez, she is mean. Courtney really rubs mud in all of the girls’ faces. She’s hot but that only goes so far.

Another date card comes to the house. Kacie reads it to the remaining girls who weren’t on the group date. She reads it. Ben picks Courtney/Penelope the one upper. Courtney then asks, “How did that taste coming out of your mouth?” Kacie is too nice to say anything rude back, she just responds with “what” and looks down with a shy and sad face. Courtney is a terrible, terrible person.
“He wants to kiss me.” she sings out in an annoying nagging song.  I don’t like her anymore. My attraction is out the window.

They get in Bens car and go on a drive that ends with a picnic. The entire date Ben can’t tell if she is “too good to be true” or not. He seems to be examining her the entire time almost like Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm does when he doesn’t know if he can trust someone. I would be doing the same.

They walk into the woods.
Ben: “These are redwood trees”
Penelope: “I knowwwww. Actually… I grew up in a redwood house with red wood floors and a redwood roof…acutallllyyyyy and… my dad actually invented redwood trees so I’m actually better than all the red woods…in the world.

The cocktail party was just mayhem. We really see cougars AKA Blakeley AKA Blake’s true colors. Blake actually gets the final rose!   She’s safe yet still tries to steal Ben away from anyone who may not have a lot of time with him so far. She takes him to the pool and they start to make out. The girls are all talking bad about her. They call her a stage 5 clinger and a horse face. Everyone is upset with Blakeley. She finds out, and for some reason she goes to the luggage room and cries in the corner, which makes no sense.  I think this was just an act to get Ben’s attention.

The highlight for me was the next interaction with crazy Jenna. This was amazing! She says, “if anything I’m thankful that you gave me a chance after the other night.” Ben responds simply with, “no problem.”

CUE THE SCARY HORROR MUSIC

Jenna – As she sabotages her last chance. “I’m not a girl. I feel like I’m not a girl.” What she is saying is making no sense. “I just want to start over, I just want to explain that I’m not like your typical girl.” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I think the real problem here is that you are actually, sadly crazy and take pills mixed with alcohol at the cocktail parties. More importantly, I think she was trying to tell Ben that she is a lesbian. I really think that Jenna may be a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with that but what else could she be trying to convey with her crazy talk?

I haven’t talked about Samantha yet. I call her the Curser. Sh4t, th*t Fuc8, Th8t Cougar Who*$&. She curses a lot.  I think shes the one that named Blakely Horse Face.

In the end Crazy Jenna goes home hopefully to seek real professional help and Shawn also goes home.

Final thoughts. Courtney may win and that would be terrible, terrible thing.  The world will hate her if she breaks his heart after the show ends. Blakeley scares the crap out of me and Samantha curses a lot. Brittany is growing on me a bit.

 

Feel free to post your comments and follow me @reidrosenthal 1 on Twitter

21 Comments »

  1. So glad they finally posted your blog…yours is the only one worth reading. So funny.

    Comment by Julianna — January 11, 2012 @ 11:51 am

  2. Great job Reid! I love your take on the show.. I agree with Julianna.. only one worth reading and so funny.

    Comment by Kel — January 11, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

  3. I think that Courtney is narcissistic! It almost seemed that she mirrored what he’s said or done… not right! Cluster B!!!! No cure!

    Comment by Lena — January 11, 2012 @ 12:32 pm

  4. Courtney is definitely playing the villain this season, it might be because that was her gameplan from the start in order to get as much airtime as possible.

    And who knows, maybe in the end she really ends up falling for Ben. No person is as onedimensional as Courtney is coming off.

    True about Samantha, the Curser seems like a fitting nickname for her.

    Comment by noreen — January 11, 2012 @ 12:47 pm

  5. Love your blog. You and Ashley Spivey have the best ones, fun and right on target. Ben is a big bore and fugly, worst bachelor choice ever. NO interest, don’t care who he picks, it won’t last, Stormhorse is a frat boy, player. the end. Love you, Reid!

    Comment by Jenn — January 11, 2012 @ 12:55 pm

  6. I agree with Noreen. There is no way that Courtney is as bad as we are being led to believe.

    Comment by Melanie — January 11, 2012 @ 1:01 pm

  7. Jenn, how about you do all of us a favor and stop watching idiot!!

    Comment by Melanie — January 11, 2012 @ 1:04 pm

  8. Thanks!!! Reid, LMAO at Penelope…she is mean as hell. Best blog ever.

    Comment by BeBe — January 11, 2012 @ 1:04 pm

  9. Your comparison of Courtney to Penelope is awesome, hilarious, and accurate. It’s almost like she’s trying to act like Michelle Money did on her season (make the girls hate her by acting a little crazy and make the Bachelor love her)… the difference is that Michelle actually had likable qualities and I’m not seeing any in Courtney.

    Comment by Dana — January 11, 2012 @ 4:07 pm

  10. Penelope the One Upper!!!! I love coming up with nicknames for the girls so this is perfect! Courtney is an unhealthy three (per the enneagram), which fits perfectly with the “one upper-isms.”

    Comment by Penny Farthing — January 11, 2012 @ 4:24 pm

  11. Your blog is sooooooooooooooooo hilarious! The best one! And you are right, Courtney is not a nice person!

    Comment by Betsy — January 11, 2012 @ 4:30 pm

  12. Yours is The.Best.Blog.Ever. :)

    Look forward to reading over the course of the show.

    Thanks for sharing with us your creativeness, perceptivness and the downright, flatout truth.

    Comment by SKae — January 11, 2012 @ 6:13 pm

  13. To me, Courtney is kind of Michelle Money-esque and Blakely is the new Vienna. Funny blog!

    Comment by Maria — January 11, 2012 @ 6:47 pm

  14. Finally! I’ve waited forever for this to post, was reduced to reading David NoGood’s blog to pass the time. I blame you for that trauma. J/K. Seriously, I agree w/ all assessments, except for Jenna. I agree she needs help and self sabotaged her chances, but she’s not crazy. She says things that don’t make sense b/c she’s so nervous and intoxicated. Never mix alcohol w/ insecurity b/c that usually either leads to addiction b/c it becomes a social crutch or very embarrassing behavior. Jenna is the poster child for “don’t drink & date.”

    Comment by Leslie — January 11, 2012 @ 11:02 pm

  15. Reid, I was so excited to see you have a blog but I had to skip through most parts to actually get your opinion. It seems you were merely reporting scene by scene. I assume those of us that come on here have already seen the show. I prefer Michael Stag’s blog cuz he was able to relate his actual thoughts and impressions. This is just a bit of constructive criticism. I actually loved you in your season. I wanted you to end up with Jillian. She’s single now I hear. Forgive her 4 rejecting you and try again pls. Jason n Molly proved pple r only human n love could conquer all!

    Comment by Christine — January 12, 2012 @ 3:25 am

  16. “They walk into the woods.
    Ben: “These are redwood trees”
    Penelope: “I knowwwww. Actually… I grew up in a redwood house with red wood floors and a redwood roof…acutallllyyyyy and… my dad actually invented redwood trees so I’m actually better than all the red woods…in the world.”

    Frickin’ Hilarious!!! A very entertaining blog Reid! Keep em coming. Love hearing the opinion from the side of someone’s who’s been there, done that!

    Comment by Annette — January 12, 2012 @ 5:37 am

  17. Even though I watch the show I still want to hear other peoples’ take on the what happens and I definitely want you to keep on giving your scene by scene observations! They were great …right on the mark and so funny!!

    Comment by Carey — January 12, 2012 @ 9:39 pm

  18. I agree with you that Ben was never in love with Ashley. But why do you think he ‘s still so resentful and bitter till this day?

    I donot feel bad for him. he said in promotion interviews many times that this experience is therapeutic and a chance for him to practice his relationship skills/ That’s all. So I dont see why people are so going nuts already about his crush Courtney

    Comment by confused — January 13, 2012 @ 10:07 am

  19. hehe, David at the Dentist was awesome :)

    Seriously, I know there’s “editing” and what not but I was jaw-dropped over Courtney’s taunting with the date card thing. It blows my mind when they show her age…because she acts super immature for some reason.

    As for the Jenna thing: I feel like she was trying to say that she is a chill-girl who “hangs with the guys” easily…but NOTHING that has been shown of her this season backed that up. I don’t know if we should feel bad for her or simply just want to run in the other direction! Certainly proves why guys sometimes have NO clue what girls are trying to say beeeecaussee she was certainly all over the place between words and actions!

    Comment by Ashley L — January 13, 2012 @ 6:14 pm

  20. Yo – Twitter link above is broken… points to http://twitter.com/reidrosenthal, which is some egg impersonating Reid.

    Comment by Christine — January 13, 2012 @ 7:00 pm

  21. Reid, will you televise your blog? That way, we can listen to your hilarious narrative and look at your handsome face!

    Comment by Paula T — January 18, 2012 @ 2:06 pm

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