Reid’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 3

E.T. must have phoned home because they all go to San Francisco where Ben and his sister live.  The date card arrives and it’s Smart Emily the rapper who wins the first one-on-one.  Courtney makes her first bitchy comment after the date card announcement.  ”I think book smart is boring.  His date is going to be boring.”  Okay Penelope, tell that to Albert Einstein and no you’re not smarter than Albert Einstein. You have the IQ of baby Einstein and your lip disappeared.  They climb the Bay Bridge together.  Seems kind of scary to me.  Obviously the date starts off with the signature Bachelor run to each other, jump and hug.  They start their climb. After they get past their fears they get to the top of the bridge and enjoy the amazing views of San Fran.

Somehow, miraculously, the girls have a telescope in their hotel room and look out to the bridge and just so happen to find Ben and Emily on their date climbing the bridge!  ONLY ON THE BACHELOR! Weird. The lesson of this date was that a bridge brings two things together.  In this case, two different people from two different places.  Deep!  If they can climb a bridge together than they must be made for each other! Sorry, I’m very cynical lately.  I can’t help it.  After the climb, they share a candle lit dinner at a table nowhere near a restaurant overlooking the bridge they climbed.  Where did that table come from? And where did those fireworks come from? Ben wanted to know about Emily’s dating history.  She obvious hasn’t had the best dating success because the only story was about how she joined Match.com and the website matched her with her own brother!  Too Funny!  Final thoughts:  I like Emily although I don’t think she’ll make the final 3.  Lastly, did anyone notice how much Chapstick Ben had on his lips?  Emily gets the rose.  We hear another “I very well, MIGHT BE able to spend the rest of my life with Ben.”

Date number two:  Everyone goes on the date except for Courtney and Lindzi.   Ben explains that the idea for this date was on his leap list.  A leap list is a list of things you’ve always wanted to do before you get married.   He’s always wondered what it would be like to ski down the streets of San Fran.  I can relate to that because I’ve always wanted to live in a city where all the streets were made of ice so you could ice skate everywhere.  I liked this date because all of the girls wore bikinis.  Kacie was extra bad at skiing and does like 5 splits and runs into the wall a few times.  It was funny to watch all of the neighbors on that street look on.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel the girls receive another date card.  Brittney gets the next one-on-one date but there’s a problem.  Her Granny Sheryl wasn’t invited so she’s nervous and not as excited as she should be to go out with Ben.  Brittney decides that she ‘s not going on the date and in fact, she’s going to go home.  She really doesn’t understand why she isn’t more excited and hopes that she doesn’t regret this for the rest of her life.  Well then, why are you leaving?  Stick it out.  Either way Ben doesn’t seem very upset.  Moving on.

Lindzi gets lucky with next one-on-one date because Brittney turned hers down.  She’s a bit of a dork at times.  “A one-on-one!! I got a date!”  It was like it was her first date ever.  It ended up being a pretty cool date though.  She’s getting the rose.  She grew on me towards the end of the date.  I still don’t understand what kind of guy would dump a girl by text after dating her for a year and a half.  The guy is either the worst person on earth or we have yet to see Lindzi’s crazy side.

At some point during the episode Ben and Courtney go out.  She tells Ben that she feels the love in here while pointing to her chest area.  Courtney is completely full of crap.  She is also completely different in front of Ben as if she is just playing a role in a movie.  She is a sociopath.  For some reason whenever I think of Courtney, I can only imagine her as a Family Guy character that always wears black with a glass of red wine permanently attached to her hand and a missing upper lip.  Their kisses seem really awkward and cold.  It’s like a caveman kissing a cold-blooded lizard.

Another one of my twitter followers tweeted this during the episode:

@reidrosenthal1 the more I see Courtney the more she looks like Olga from “Dodgeball.” I think its the eyebrows? Still pretty :)  PRETTY funny if you ask me.”

Who’s Nicki?  Does anyone else forget who she is?  How is Jaclyn still there?

The best part is when Shawntel from Brad Womack’s season comes back from the dead and just walks right through the cocktail party outside to interrupt Ben’s one-on-one time with Elyse, but it doesn’t matter because she gets booted.  All the girls are like, ‘was that a ghost that just walked through the living room?  I swear I just saw a ghost.’  Shawntel really throws a wrench in things and all the girls just start freaking out.  Shawntel first explains to Ben why she was there and then after explains to the group of girls.  They were staring at her as if their eyes were laser beams destroying her soul.  Girls are crying and talking about how it’s unfair.  Courtney says she is not going to accept the rose if Ben keeps Shawntel.  Well, she did accept it because she is a bullshit artist.

The crazy crying and drama during the cocktail hour and rose ceremony was all for nothing because Ben decides to send home the two girls I couldn’t remember and Shawntel.  Shawntel, being an undertaker, almost had to bury the girl who passed out and died from the pressure.

I want to see more of Casey S.

Funniest line of the episode occurred from Jaclyn during the final rose ceremony:  “On a scale from 1-10, I think I’m gonna throw up.”

It’s the same girl my brother tweeted about during the rose ceremony. @roseysbbq wrote: @reidrosenthal1 can’t spell her name but she’s got a case of the #uglycryer #thebachelor

Speaking of that, follow me on Twitter @reidrosenthal1

32 Comments »

  1. Great blog, Reid. Ben is such a fake and boring.

    Comment by Jenn — January 17, 2012 @ 1:24 pm

  2. HAHA my husband said the same thing about the dodgeball girl! That is awesome!!

    Comment by Sarah — January 17, 2012 @ 1:37 pm

  3. Thanks Reid….Nice and accurate…

    Comment by BeBe — January 17, 2012 @ 1:41 pm

  4. hahaahaha! so happy those 2 are gone. Now time for Elyse to go- great blog Reid!

    Comment by christine — January 17, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

  5. Anyone who has viewed more than one season of this franchise has a right to be cynical.

    Comment by daisie_blasie — January 17, 2012 @ 2:12 pm

  6. To jenn, if Ben is fake and boring why are you watching?

    Comment by Jill — January 17, 2012 @ 2:16 pm

  7. Ha-ha, best blog, always makes me laugh.

    Comment by noreen — January 17, 2012 @ 2:34 pm

  8. I love the way you think.

    Did you see that Kasey Kahl punched a chick in the face, protecting and guarding her heart?

    Oh and did you know Trista Sutter is totally insecure and FRUMPY. Posts photoshopped pictures trying to prove to Howard Stern she still has “it” when she looks like yesterday’s morning toast….dried the F up. What a mean skank she is.

    Ryan Sutter is the farthest thing from “hot”. He is a retard, just like Howard stated.

    Howard is the KING.

    Comment by Frankie — January 17, 2012 @ 2:47 pm

  9. Frankie,

    I have an odd feeling I know who you are in real life. Maybe Im wrong…..What you wrote is kind of off and not nice. Who cares that much anyway?

    Yes I saw the Kasey Kahl thing.

    Comment by Frankie — January 17, 2012 @ 3:08 pm

  10. oh that was from reid sorry. I wrote Frankie

    Comment by reid — January 17, 2012 @ 3:08 pm

  11. TOO funny!
    I love when I go to hotels and have telescopes in my room…I especially love looking through telescopes in broad day light.

    ANNNDD cynical?! Of course! As much as I can’t help but watch the show it blows my mind when the girls think “OMG, he took me on THE best date…he is SOOOO amazing.” UMMM what kind of dates do you think he’d be taking you on in the real world–without cameras and unlimited budgets…duhhh cynicism ;)

    Comment by Ashley L — January 17, 2012 @ 3:16 pm

  12. THANK YOU!!! I was wondering what a “leap” list was. I figured it was that, but wasn’t sure. There’s a car commercial that alludes to same concept. I completely agree that Courtney’s a sociopath (to pretend to to like someone to get ahead at the risk of hurting them so badly makes her and anyone who does that a very very bad person). On the other note, I don’t think it’s nice to make fun of her lips – she can’t help that and there seems to be an epidemic of women who have trout lips w/ injections b/c of that issue (it’s like throwing gasoline into the fire of eating disorder for lip disorder to say that). This is silly and there are plenty of gorgeous women w/ thin lips who look better w/ their thin lips (ironically I was called fish lips as a child & now it’s considered luscious – so it’s a beauty industry manipulation so please don’t add to it, I hate it when women feel like who they are naturally is not good enough when it’s just them being manipulated by the billion dollar beauty industry). OK enough of my soapbox. Back to the soap opera… Glad to see you blogging. I always try to find you first and read yours first.

    Comment by ThaksForClarifiyin! — January 17, 2012 @ 3:17 pm

  13. If she was nice I wouldnt mention lips

    Comment by reid — January 17, 2012 @ 3:20 pm

  14. Hey Reid, Ben told 3 people on twitter last night that he and Emily walked back down the bridge, same way they walked up it. Yet CHarrisob said on twitter that they took inside stairwell all the way down, another words, walked down flights of steps. Why does Ben lie? He lied about writing the date cards too in his blog. Everyone knows that they are written by production since the first show. Just don’t like Ben, he’s a dbag & liar.

    Comment by Meeps — January 17, 2012 @ 3:48 pm

  15. oops, sorry, typo CHarrison

    Comment by Meeps — January 17, 2012 @ 3:49 pm

  16. I couldn’t agree with you more Reid! This season of the bachelor is focusing too much on the drama to try to increase viewship but it’s actually back-firing because people are getting tired of all the drama! It’s the 3rd episode this season and Ben still gave a rose to Monica (the girl who’s kinda into girls and not men). That’s kinda weird that he would keep her around….It seems as if nothing really surprises anybody on The Bachelor anymore….

    Comment by noticing they are casting too many crazies on the bachelor/bachelorette — January 17, 2012 @ 3:51 pm

  17. POSTED ON THE ABC BACHELORETTE BOARD: Jan 16 by OneTwoTree

    Trista compared her booty to Poutine Wanderer’s booty….lmao…….Trista your a___ is a flat pancake…same for your b000bes….Your dancing and Ashley’s dancing is night and day…You were a line dancer….duh…

    Only thing that you and Ashley have in common is a huge forehead..

    And Howard Stern was right when he compared you to frumpy..

    NO ARGUMENT FROM ME. I will add Trista is every bit as “mean” as the current bachelorettes. She just hides it better. I promise you she is horrible. Just dispicable.

    Comment by wilk — January 17, 2012 @ 4:01 pm

  18. Did anyone else notice Monica crying when Ben gave Rachel the rose on the group date? Go back and watch, it’s hysterical. I thought Monica was too manly to cry…

    Comment by Tess — January 17, 2012 @ 4:29 pm

  19. Once again, coming in August to San Francisco (which has very little air conditioning) left out some important and historical sites. Did you know that Pier 40 (South of the Bay Bridge) is the home of the only paraolympic sailors called the Bay Area Association of Disabled Sailors. Yes they have SIXTEEN Access Liberties with JOY STICK STEERING and Sip&Puff controls and of all the venues in McCovey Cove next to AT&T Park. That would be a real challenge from Clipper Cove Treasure Island( birth Place of PAN AMERICAN AIRWAYS to McCovey in individual twelve foot sailboats. Coached by some of BAADS blind sailors. At South Beach Yacht Club and other yacht Clubs that is called BEER CAN with BEERS in the Yacht Club at the end. That is what San Francisco was founded on and famous for every type of wind in one day one the Bay. Besides, you could trim the filming budget and have quite an episode enjoyed by all.

    Comment by Robert — January 17, 2012 @ 6:18 pm

  20. “I liked this date because all of the girls wore bikinis.”

    Best. Line. Ever. Seriously, and I loved how you just sandwiched it in between two normal sentences!

    Thanks Reid!!

    Comment by Heather — January 17, 2012 @ 9:27 pm

  21. It’s OK to be tough on someone b/c of their mean behavior & call them out for it, but it’s stooping to their level & doing the very behavior you are criticizing them for by making fun of something they can’t help like their looks. Hitting below the belt only lowers you to their level.

    Comment by ThanksForClarifiying — January 17, 2012 @ 10:57 pm

  22. Yes, I noticed the chapstick..what the heck? It must be from all that loud smooching.

    Comment by Judy — January 18, 2012 @ 3:21 am

  23. Courtney is crazy she needs to go far, FAR away!

    Comment by Rose — January 18, 2012 @ 3:23 am

  24. Hi Reid! Thanks for the recap. Too much drama for my taste this season. Might as well skip it and read your blogs instead! Keep it up and if the spoilers are true and Ben chooses the con artist there goes the neighborhood.

    Comment by Maria C — January 18, 2012 @ 3:36 am

  25. Hi Reid, Just invasively curious- are you currently dating anyone? feel free to ignore this if you wish.

    Comment by g — January 18, 2012 @ 12:31 pm

  26. Hi Reid! My friend and I, long-time “Bachelor” fans, say every year that we wish you would be “The Bachelor”. We really enjoyed it the year you were on, regardless of how things went. Wanted to comment on Courtney. I’m borrowing from someone else’s comment, but the comparison of her to Robert Iler, aka Junior on “The Sopranos”, was spot on in my opinion. I don’t have a problem with her looks, but I do have a problem with her two-sided-ness. Reminds me of how Jake couldn’t see Vienna for who she really was, and we all know how well that worked out! Now that I know you have a blog and twitter, I’ll be virtually stalking you, if you don’t mind!

    Comment by Jody M — January 18, 2012 @ 4:01 pm

  27. Are you serious? Are most of these comment posters in the 3rd grade? My goodness.

    Comment by emy — January 19, 2012 @ 6:15 pm

  28. Good blog, just better not to read the comments. Keep writing… There can be a new switch up on things to throw the readers off.

    Comment by emy — January 19, 2012 @ 7:43 pm

  29. What street did they ski down in San Francisco?

    Comment by Dee Lindsey — January 19, 2012 @ 10:40 pm

  30. Love the input and the cynism from one who has been through the Bachelor/Bachelorette experience.

    Comment by C — January 20, 2012 @ 2:31 am

  31. Hi Reid

    I didn’t know you were blogging…. this has been fun to read and I’m basically in agreement.

    #1) If Courtney ISN’T a certified sociopath, then I’m really concerned about what she MIGHT be. So far, they have managed to totally ignore any redeeming qualities she might have and that really concerns me, should she make it towards the end.

    #2) I think they should at least show SOME conversation with a few more of the women instead of focusing primarily on the whack jobs, but maybe the ones who don’t get any time on TV are attractive AND extremely boring. Who knows?

    Anyway, hope you’re doing well. You’re still my favorite Bachelor contestant of all time.

    Comment by Melissa — January 23, 2012 @ 2:17 pm

  32. Regarding Courtney, are the bachelors that protected that they don’t see the split personalities of these women, or are they just being blind??? She’s been compared to Michele Money, but Michele wasn’t really evil like Courtney is.

    Comment by Paula T — January 26, 2012 @ 11:13 am

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