Reid’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 5

Hey everyone. So sorry I couldn’t blog about last week’s episode. Work has been very busy and let’s be real, the episode was pretty uneventful. My creative juices are a bit dry after the long labor day weekend so this blog entry is going to be an abstract stream of conscience firing off of random thoughts much like Pollock painting.

Here we go:

During the Nearly Wed Game, once again, Vienna thinks that they are destined to win based on prior experience. She believes that she and Kasey will win because they have been in a relationship for a while. Once again, her pre-challenge prediction fails miserably. The instability of their relationship continues to shine through in episode 5. They get almost every question wrong, one of which angers Vienna deeply. The question was “What do you think her ex’s miss most about her?” Vienna thought it would be her breasts but Kasey lets her down by answering her teeth. Who would pick teeth? What guy would miss their ex-girlfriend’s teeth? I mean, I understand if you miss someone’s smile, but teeth? Usually men will say a body part like, boobs, legs, eyes, butt or maybe some personality trait. For instance Ella’s was positive attitude, Michelle’s was her sense of humor and Holly’s was her laugh or something along those lines. Funny that a couple in an actual relationship picks a physical trait and gets it so wrong. TEETH? They come in last place.

I will bet my life, that within 6 months of the end date of the Bachelor Pad, these two are broken up with a public break up story, which will fail to propel them into any future entertainment endeavors.

The Holly and Mike theme: Holly is still struggling between wanting to do the nasty with Blake all while still being somewhat in love and feeling loyalty with Mike. She makes two good decisions during this episode, which proves she is a real player in the game. First, Chris Harrison invents another new rule in the most abstract game show of all time. This week, contestants will chose a partner and from then on, play as a couple, vote as a couple and will be voted off as a couple. She could have chosen Blake but she made a promise to Michael to be loyal to him as a partner through the entire game, therefore she stayed true to her promise. Well, at least someone has some integrity on the show. Her second good decision was to vote off Blake and Erika even though selfishly she wanted to keep Blake there but voted him off out respect for Mike. I mean, come on, they film the show in a few weeks. If you really want to hang out with someone you can do it after the show. It’s not a death sentence to get kicked off the Bachelor Pad.

Blake and Tiara came in second place during the game and in return received a date together. Tiara desperately tries to get Blake to stay at the hotel overnight by luring him with a free sex pass with no strings attached. Her theory was that as of right now the house doesn’t care for Blake because he screwed over Melissa and at the same time is violating man code by blatantly pursuing Holly. She explains her strategy by saying it will appear that he is faithful to his partner in the game, which will hopefully earn him some much needed respect. Blake declines both free sex and the intelligent advice from his legal counsel and goes back to the pad. If only she had her crystal gavel. Tiara’s been turned down so many times I hope that thing vibrates. Out of respect for Tiara, not only did my girlfriend and I think she looked great she also makes very smart logical arguments. She will be a great lawyer and a hot one at that.

Graham and Michelle enter the Nearly Wed Game with a brilliant strategy. Instead of staying up for hours quizzing each other on personal details they come with a simple, idiot-proof strategy to win the game. If they were asked anything with a number, the answer would be 7. Chris Harrison asks the question when did your partner lose their virginity. Michelle’s correct answer for Graham was 7. That’s 10 full years before I lost mine. I knew at this point they had a strategy because Graham is still a virgin. Just kidding.

When Harrison asks how many dates did it take before you had sex, Vienna answer 22. Not only do I not believe that but how in the world was Kasey supposed to answer that correctly? Tiara answers 3 dates ‘til sex. She giggles and says she’s kind of a slut. I hope her future law firm isn’t watching this.

Another bizarre happening was when Kasey and Vienna barged into the kitchen with Vienna yelling, “You tore my ring off because I won’t have sex with you?” This is in front of everyone in the house. Tiara says, something along the lines of, “This is a mansion not a trailer park.” Kasey gives Vienna an ultimatum and says, “If you don’t come down to my room and cuddle with me then I’m packing my bags and leaving.” Really? That actually worked? That’s almost one full step below playing the Just The Tip Game. It’s just to see how it feels! Why wouldn’t she want to sleep with her boyfriend in the first place? This is another example of why I don’t see their relationship lasting. It almost seems that Vienna is with Kasey for all the wrong reasons.

In the end Blake and Tiara give their safety rose to Kasey and Vienna of all people. This is the dumbest thing that Tiara has done on the show to date. They put their trust in the dirtiest players in the house. Why in their right mind would they make this decision? This move ultimately sealed her fate.

Looking forward to writing my final and most elaborate blog after next week’s season finale of the Bachelor Pad. Follow me on Twitter @reidrosenthal1.

28 Comments »

  1. ha! liked your blog. thanks!

    Comment by jt — September 6, 2011 @ 10:48 pm

  2. OMG, I know this is the worst decision that Blake and Erica ever made giving the safety rose to Kasey and vienna, why? just asking. I don’t understand why they keep saving them. I want them to go, they are nasty, trashy and fake individuals- i’m sorry

    Comment by grace — September 6, 2011 @ 10:59 pm

  3. I am cracking up….LoL! at Tiara…

    Comment by bebe — September 6, 2011 @ 11:12 pm

  4. LOL!!!!! Your insight about Kasey and Vienna is hilarious and true. Good job!

    Comment by Kathy — September 6, 2011 @ 11:57 pm

  5. You’re an idiot, Reid.

    Comment by Peed — September 7, 2011 @ 12:40 am

  6. Very good, indeed! You’ve pretty much nailed it on this one…LOL

    Comment by Lisa — September 7, 2011 @ 12:49 am

  7. “If only she had her crystal gavel. Tiara’s been turned down so many times I hope that thing vibrates. Out of respect for Tiara, not only did my girlfriend and I think she looked great she also makes very smart logical arguments. She will be a great lawyer and a hot one at that.”

    This is a part of your blog, and as always, I loved it. This particular paragraph hit the nail on the head for the first two sentences. I respectfully disagree with the second two. Her monotone upspeak rings in my ears for 24 hours after the episode. kind of glad she is gone…

    Comment by Mary Jo — September 7, 2011 @ 1:34 am

  8. hahahahaha, Reid you rock, as usual!!!!

    Comment by lol — September 7, 2011 @ 3:23 am

  9. Ahh, too bad you have a girlfriend because seeing you as the Bachelor for a season would be FANTASTIC! Who knew the producers would hire smart, articulate, opinionated people ever?

    Comment by Tess — September 7, 2011 @ 3:39 am

  10. Reid – you are the hottest and funniest guy to ever appear on this franchise. Love the recap!

    Comment by Joline — September 7, 2011 @ 4:36 am

  11. Love your blog Reid. Funny and articulate. Totally agree with your comments about Kasey and Vienna….she is screwed up, high maintenance and so annoying. They just cannot win bachelor pad. Look forward to your blog next week.

    Comment by Caroline — September 7, 2011 @ 5:33 am

  12. Hey….I loved your blog! So true, non- bias, entertaining, not full of insecure hits– just plain good, funny reading. Thanks! :)

    Comment by Elizabeth — September 7, 2011 @ 6:04 am

  13. Reid..I read several of these blogs and yours is by far my favorite.I laugh and laugh when I read yours.When you talk about Tiara I laugh so hard I actually cry. You should be a writer. You are by far one of my top five favorites from the bachelorette and bachelor series. I wanted you to be one of the bachelor’s badly. I always wanted to tell you this….you told Jillian that some day she would know what a mistake she made and did she ever learn that! I thought her brain was fried when she chose Ed. Thanks for all of the fun you have given me.

    Comment by Elizabeth — September 7, 2011 @ 6:15 am

  14. Another great blog.

    A comment on the strategy though…

    I don’t think potentially offering the rose to Casey and Vienna was dumb. What was dumb was giving them the roses before they secured Graham and Michelle into the plan. Instead, they believed Casey’s “My word is stronger than oak” line. Its pretty clear here Tiara doesn’t have a future in contract law….and also that she never watched “Jerry Maguire”.

    Comment by Doh — September 7, 2011 @ 8:29 am

  15. Love your blog Reid and miss you from the Jillian’s season. I thought I finally find another guy that is as witty and smart as you from the show (Blake) but I am very disappointed at him at this point.

    I kind of disagree with you on Holly because I totally think that she is wrong playing both Blake and Michael, especially poor Michael. She is someone pretend to be innocent and dumb and she use that to munipulate you in the end. Not a fan of her at all. Somebody said right that if Blake is not interested in her, she will be crawling back to Michael in no time. Michael needs to be smart up and move on from something that is not worth fighting for.

    What disappointed me about Blake is that he keeps saying that it was game when he played Melissa (emotionally), but he really didn’t stick to his “game” thing all along with Holly. So is he really trying to play the game or is he looking for love? If he is looking for love, why screwing Melissa? double standard?

    Comment by tashishui — September 7, 2011 @ 12:09 pm

  16. also, every decision he made on BP when it comes to Holly were screwing him in terms of playing the game, so what the heck of him talking about playing the game?

    Comment by tashishui — September 7, 2011 @ 12:12 pm

  17. Reid, I really liked this blog! I think you have a lot of good opinions and you say it like it is.

    My opinion on the Holly/Michael/Blake situation is a little different though. I get that Holly has obviously fallen for someone else, but she feels conflicted because she obviously has a heart and cares for Michael. But in the same breath, she is on national television going behind both of their backs… Letting Michael tell her over and over again that he loves her and wants her back. I’m sure it’s nice to hear but it is just becoming really unfair to him. As well, she keeps saying that he left her and broke her heart, and while I can respect that she was hurt, she was the one who broke of the engagement in the first place… So can she really blame him for getting back together with her and guarding his heart a little more?

    Overall, great blog! I look forward to next weeks!

    Comment by Courtney — September 7, 2011 @ 2:56 pm

  18. Teeth??? I agree, that boggled my mind. It’s one thing to get it wrong, but to choose and answer like “teeth?” It’s just strange.

    Love your observations and agree with you. I like Tiara, but it was so hard to watch her coming on to Blake with NO response. Awkward!

    Thanks for the witty blog!

    Comment by Jo — September 7, 2011 @ 3:46 pm

  19. “If only she had her crystal gavel. Tiara’s been turned down so many times I hope that thing vibrates.”

    This post was so funny – and what I liked about it most is that it treated these goons with the (lack of) seriousness that their behavior warrants.

    Comment by Britt — September 7, 2011 @ 5:46 pm

  20. I know you are happy with Kristen, but you would have been the best ever bachelor of this franchise to watch. But glad real life is good for you now, Reid. Maybe you can go on BP or host it.

    Comment by lol — September 7, 2011 @ 9:43 pm

  21. Actually, I think Blake and Erica were smart to give the roses to Kasey and Vienna. It at least gave them a chance that Kasey might have been able to persuade another couple to keep them in, even if it was a really small chance. If they’d given the roses to Kirk and Ella, the three power couples would’ve voted them out for sure.

    Comment by Licia — September 8, 2011 @ 12:32 am

  22. @lol following blogs and doting on guys you can’t have . . . such a sad life. Show us your face — let’s see what you don’t have (besides a personality that is).

    Comment by MaryAnn — September 8, 2011 @ 2:00 pm

  23. If you don’t have anything nice to say…don’t say anything at all. You are CRUEL!!!! Another reason you’re not on any Bachelor follow up shows. :)

    Comment by Sue — September 8, 2011 @ 11:06 pm

  24. Question ? Is vienna a transvestite ? Coz that would have to be the ugliest bitch i have ever seen , shes nasty trailer trash , get her off the television , there are much more interesting people to look at than her ugly head !

    Comment by sally — September 9, 2011 @ 12:07 pm

  25. Reid, this is the first time I read your blog and you are accurate on many things. Its funny that Vienna accused Jake of being abusive and Kasey seems to have this power over Vienna that could spell trouble. Yes, very idiotic of Blake and Erica (Tiara LOL) giving their roses to Vienna and Kasey but truth is the biggest threat is Graham and Michelle! They are playing the game big time. As for this “man code thing.” I kinda find it so high school and some people have pointed out in another blog that Blake did not violate it since he and Michael are not friends so what “man code” rule was broken and wasn’t Michael and Holly already over? I think David Goode said the same thing on The Bachelor Beatdown. What ever the case Holly and Blake are engaged and what’s done is done.

    Comment by me — September 10, 2011 @ 8:02 am

  26. Great blog as usual! Looking forward to your take on Monday’s finale.

    Comment by Beth Ann — September 11, 2011 @ 4:23 am

  27. Reid,

    You are the only blogger on this site that I can read without cringing. You were my favorite contestant when you appeared on the Bachelorette, and your blog continues to prove that you have much more going on between the ears than your average Bachelor franchise contestant. Congrats on being articulate while saying what everyone else is thinking. It’s hilarious how the other bloggers pretty much sugarcoat Vienna and Kasey’s disgusting habits and discussions since they are “friends” in real life.

    Comment by Kate — September 13, 2011 @ 1:15 pm

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