Reid’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 1
I’m going to start my Bachelor season 16 blog with a compliment to the producers for nailing it and making it truly the most dramatic first bachelor episode ever!
At first, I questioned Ben as their choice to be the bachelor but now I can see why. He was relaxed, sincere and somewhat sarcastic. I was completely immersed and entertained by the choice of women and their dynamic with each other. Especially Jenna and Monica. Wow. Let the crazy begin.
First of all, the show starts off recapping last season and explaining how Ben fell deeply in love with Ashley. In my opinion, he was never really in love with her because his proposal seemed a bit contrived and fake. Who agrees? (Remember, I welcome comments on my blog and will respond back to them as I did with the crazy comments from last season’s blog). He shows up on a helicopter or a plane, (can’t remember) and gets right on his knee the minute he sees her. He barely said anything before his proposal, which is probably why Ashley didn’t have time to stop him. He could have saved himself some of the embarrassment with a few questions to Ashley before he popped the question, but hey, I did the same thing on my season with Jillian. Hindsight is 20/20.
Introduction of the girls: this is always my favorite part. It’s a time where you can assess the talent, compliment or criticize them or just completely make fun of the overly nervous and overly cheesy. Come on, you know you all do it! We are not bad people for making fun of contestants. They put themselves out there for us to all be entertained. And it’s just too easy!
Before the contestant introductions with Ben we see a showcase of some the girls’ backgrounds. Here were my thoughts…
Lindsay Horse Rider: I like a girl who can ride a horse. She learned about dating by falling off horses? “You have to get back up on your saddle and ride again.” So she either has dated a good amount of horses or has been in many relationships that haven’t worked.
Her last relationship ended in the worst way: any girl who gets broken up with a text that says, “welcome to Dumpsville, population YOU,” must have done something really bad or crazy for the guy to write something so brutal. Maybe you just have a really bad system for choosing who you date.
Next they showcase Amber. Hot country girl. She enjoys BEEFNUTS? COWBALLS? GROSS! I do like a girl who can experiment with food because that often equates to her sexual appetite. It appears her dad also LOVES eating balls. She said that she would be disappointed if Ben doesn’t eat balls. I don’t think she is going to make it very far.
Next up was Courtney. She a model from Santa Monica, CA. This is your big break Court! Maybe it will lead to what you’ve been waiting for, a guest role in a soap opera, or maybe movie stardom. I have a feeling she is here for all of the wrong reasons. She is the Wes, the Michelle, and the Vienna etc. You get the point.
Jamie, 25, NY, Nurse: No dad, mom was drug addict and she gained custody of her siblings at a very young age. She’s sweet, been through a lot and seems to have amazing character. She may go far but wont go to the end…NEXT.
Lyndsie J., England: daddy is a diplomat and she’s from Scottsdale AZ – I will call her Orbitz Chick. FABULOUS! Reads a poem reminds me of a cartoon princess.
Jenna from NYC aka Crazy Bradshaw: likes fashion and writing about love. She thinks she’s in Sex in the City. Seems scary like a girl I once dated. She will go far but won’t win. Stop over analyzing and enjoy life or else you are going to scare the living hell out of any guy who ever dates you. She quite possibly may kill Ben.
Shawn, 28, Phoenix: We have an Emily Maynard 2! We’ll see what happens here. Not much to say yet.
Nikki, TX: young divorcee, loves love, pretty cute, could go far.
MY LIMO INTRODUCTION PLAY BY PLAY:
Rachel AKA The Baritone: She’s hot – ” My middle name is Rose!” So she’s hot and cheesy? Just the way I like my pizza but not my women.
Erika, the law student – “The verdict is in and you are guilty of being sexy.” CORNY ALERT! He’ll never be with a lawyer in my opinion. Ben says he likes the little bit of corniness. I think he was just being nice.
Amber Bacon: Bacnonator – “Do you love bacon?” For real? That is what she decided to talk about? What’s with the Canadian girls and meat? Jillian loved hot dogs and now the Baconator?
Elyse – Personal Trainer – “I’m gonna make you sweat.” We are going to have so much fun tonight, ok.” How do you know
Jenna – CRAZYYYYYY Bradshaw – RUN BEN RUN. No real chemistry, and it was an extremely awkward first encounter. She seems to have developed a little obsession from watching Ben last season. She also gets caught up in her own head when he corrects her misquote. She says she should just die. This is when the other girls see that she may be a bit off.
Courtney: “I’m a hair girl.” She’s a model. Definitely hot but definitely there for the wrong reasons.
Emily: Finishing her PHD in epidemiology – She Purels his hand, freshens her breath and says, ‘now that we are both sanitized I’m going to give you the first kiss.’ I actually like her approach. She was confident, prepared and funny. She should get the first impression rose.
Samantha – “more than just a pageant girl and doesn’t have answer to world peace”. They high five. Why are you wearing a sash if you are “more than just a pageant girl?”
Casey: Trading Clerk – She’s physically my favorite so far but at first glance she is shy and didn’t have much of an intro.
Amber 2: bacon free – “In case you don’t believe in love at first sight, here’s your shot at a second chance.” Creative I guess.
Holly from Kentucky: big hat, fast horses and beautiful women. No comment.
Jamie: nervous and has nothing to say. I don’t really remember her now.
Shira: I know everything about wine, but she lies and just likes to drink it. Eh.
Blakely: Charlotte, NC…says she’s the only southerner when she’s not. A bit of a weird introduction too. We’ll see.
Sheryl: 72 – she fell in love with him last season – I knew there was a catch here.
Brittany bought her grandma to introduce her. Not a bad idea but a bit over the top in my opinion. Seems like she may be in the Kissing Family from SNL.
Cheryl knows that Ben is a family man so they thought it would be a good twist to bring a family member.
Ben: “I love Grandmoms.”
He likes brunettes and grandmoms. I think the grandmother has a better chance than Brittany.
Nicki: Dental Hygienist – not sure.
Dianna: Giggly, seems nice – forgot what she was going to say.
Jennifer: accountant – She plays the number game. I’m going to call her “The Count.”
Princess Lyndsie: London, poem, Orbitz Girl, Fabulous!
Anna: The hot pornstar looking girl. She doesn’t say anything and walks right past him. Was that the hard to get approach or the, “oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, lights cameras, my mouth is dry, I can’t talk, just play it cool, where am I, who is this guy, what planet am I on…wait, is this my new mansion,” approach?
Monica: she misses her dog more than anything. I guess she knows Ben is a dog person.
Jaclyn: The hugger. Lots of hugging.
Shawn: She slugs him on the arm. I guess the name Shawn suites her well. I would have maced her ass.
Kacie B. from Tennessee: It’s got a nice ring to it. I see her making it to the end She has instant chemistry with Ben.
Lindzi: Seattle – Wants the first impression rose. She’s pretty hot and shows up on a horse.
THE COCKTAIL HOUR
The cattiness begins immediately in the cocktail hour. The girls are jealous that Lindzi shows up on a horse and how Brittany brought her grandmother.
Amber B. for the B word said, “it smelled a lot like grandma in here…we’ve got a sash, hat and a grandma.” Stop being Jealous. Jealousy will take you nowhere fast in life, which was proved when she was eliminated in the first round.
Nicki and Courtney have problems with Lindzi as well.
Monica causes drama immediately. I see her being one of this season’s villains. Not only does she start flirting with and may have made out with a girl (Blakely) but she also makes Jenna Bradshaw from Sex In The City almost go off the deep end by telling her she could care less about Ben. She comes off as sweet but has a dark side and knows how to rub people the wrong way. I’m not taking Jenna’s side because she really appears to be clinically crazy but Monica definitely subtly brought this on.
Rachel AKA “The Baritone,” gets the first real talk with Ben. In my opinion, (and I’m always right… sometimes) she doesn’t seem to like Ben and they don’t seem to have any chemistry whatsoever considering her voice is deeper than Ben’s.
They have no chance together – they are two different people.
Second Talk is with Nicki – Dental Hygienist – They also don’t seem like they have much going on. They don’t have the spark although she thinks they do.
Lindzi gets the third talk at cocktail party. Ben likes her a bit but I’m not sure yet. These two may have a chance.
The 4th talk is with Granny and Brittany – Granny does all the talking for her.
Brittany says she is already drawn to him from watching last season.
I think Ben should keep the Granny who does all of the talking and get rid of Granddaughter. Did he even talk to Brittany?
Shawn decides that playing soccer with Ben outside will steal his heart. I’m not sure why contestants think gimmicks will work in love. How about just having a nice normal conversation? You will have time to show him that you like soccer later if your conversation goes well enough.
Elyse – She is going to make him sweat by doing push-ups. Another gimmick. Who wants to do push-ups in a tight tux at a cocktail party? Not me.
Dianna gets kinky with the blindfold and making him play guess the candy game.
Emily shows off her gangsta side and raps for Ben. For real? You are going to rap? WHAT? She is too planned out for me. Another Gimmick! I liked her at her Purel and mouth spray plan but now she seems way to planned out for me.
Courtney is up next – She’s obviously hot. I didn’t think she had enough substance for Ben until I focused on the background music during their conversation. The nice piano love music was definitely a cue that she may be a serious contender. It was kind of a dichotomy though because the depth of the music didn’t match the depth of their conversation.
Jenna says there are women here for the wrong reasons. She also seemed to have gotten a tittle bit tipsy…or wasted during the party. She talks with the lesbians. Monica messes with her and then questions why Jenna so mean.
It appears that Monica is in love with Blakely.
Jenna says that Monica is there to stir up drama and I agree with that. The thing I don’t understand is why Jenna cares so much that Monica is there for the wrong reasons? Who cares? Let it go girl. Why get all stirred up and have a freak out session over it?
Jenna has a private conversation with Monica filled with tons of strange and angry facial expressions. She tells Monica that she makes her feel inferior and again questions why Monica is even there in the first place. The highlight is when Monica says, listen, we are all girls and here for the same reason. Jenna responds with an angry, bizarre and meaningless comment. “Maybe we can share a tampon sometime?” Errr? I think she needs a time out and a consultation with a shrink before they put her back in the game.
The haunting, scary movie music behind them during this scene is brilliant.
Jenna questions herself from the minute she shows up. She’s just really unstable. I feel a bit bad for her.
First impression rose goes to Lindzi the horse girl, which I kind of expected. Ben said that he enjoyed their conversations and wanted to get to know her more.
Jenna shows up late to the rose ceremony because she had been crying in the bathroom for what seemed to have been hours. Somehow she still received a rose. I can’t wait to see more of her. The previews looked enticing.
After the first episode I think I can pick the final three. Kacie, Casey and Lindzi are my final three. Unless there is an ex-girlfriend twist.
TERMINATED THIS EPISODE:
Please follow me on Twitter @reidrosenthal1