Reid’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 2

Ok, here we go.   So there are 18 girls remaining and they all go to Sonoma, Ben’s hometown. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about Ben’s helmet head haircut and I tend to agree it should change unless he’s going to a jam band show. He looks like he’s going to a Phish Show or something.  Put some hemp on him to complete the look but hey, I’m no stylist.

So the girls are all living in a Sonoma house for the week. They are all impressed and excited to move into the beautiful house. When they finally walk through the front door one girl says, “Oh my God, Is this real life?” I don’t know about anyone else but that sound bite reminded me of the Dentist Kid viral video. Anyone else ever see that?

The date card comes pretty fast. Kacie B. gets the first date and seems truly pleased and enthusiastic. I think everyone has liked her from the beginning.  Shes a true contender who I think  can make it to the end.

Kacie’s lucky she’s cute and we all know why: “I’m excited to go out with him on a one-on-one because now I’ll get to know even more about him.” Duh…that’s the point. I can’t make that much fun of her because she is cute, sweet and genuine.

Their date was VERY innocent as they strolled around the town of Sonoma.  At dinner I’m not sure I would notice a difference had it been two grandparents sitting and eating in their place.  BORING but that could be a good thing and they did seem very comfortable together. Then they march down the street to patriotic music as Kacie teaches Ben how to twirl a baton. Kind of reminded me of Police Academy for some weird reason. They seem good for each other but this was either two 12 year olds on a date together or two 90 year olds. They end up in the empty town theater where they are surprised by what comes on the screen: childhood videos. The first video is of Kacie as a child twirling the baton and hanging with her family to nostalgic music. Then, a similar video with Ben comes on, which obviously chokes him up because he hasn’t heard his dad’s voice for 5 years. They both cry. Kacie gets the rose, obviously. She’s safe. The one thing that was weird to me is when Kacie says “I THINK that I have found what COULD be a lifetime of love with Ben.”

Cue the Date Card. DATE CARD! THE GIRLS ALL YELL as my eardrums get blown out because I was watching with headphones in. Dang date card almost made me go deaf. Basically all of the girls except for Casey, Courtney, Kacie and I forget who else, did not get asked on the date.

They all go perform a play written and choreographed by kids which was pretty funny. You’ve got to love kids. The girls individually audition for parts in front of the kids as they yell out random scenes for the girls to act out. Obviously, Jenna was the only one who had a problem with what the kids told her to do. I think they asked her if she can be a ginger bread man and she said, “can we skip and go to the next?” Blakeley is wearing slut gear and the kids know it. They tell her to jog in place because something or some things would jiggle and then they tell her to turn to the side. It was hilarious. Afterward, they interviewed two kids about Blakeley’s try at acting. The little girl said, “I wasn’t a fan of her,” and the little boy said, “I thought she did good.” Hahaha.

Meanwhile back at the house Courtney, Lindzi, Kacie and Casey are talking about roses. This is when we really see Courtney’s evil side. She is a dead ringer for Penelope the SNL character. You know who I mean? The one upper? “What is the first impression rose anywayyyyy sooo…I actually got 5 first impression roses…but they were in private sooo….I’m pretty much better than all of you….I think the horse got the first impression rose… so…I’m not gonna beat a dead horse…so…” Geez, she is mean. Courtney really rubs mud in all of the girls’ faces. She’s hot but that only goes so far.

Another date card comes to the house. Kacie reads it to the remaining girls who weren’t on the group date. She reads it. Ben picks Courtney/Penelope the one upper. Courtney then asks, “How did that taste coming out of your mouth?” Kacie is too nice to say anything rude back, she just responds with “what” and looks down with a shy and sad face. Courtney is a terrible, terrible person.
“He wants to kiss me.” she sings out in an annoying nagging song.  I don’t like her anymore. My attraction is out the window.

They get in Bens car and go on a drive that ends with a picnic. The entire date Ben can’t tell if she is “too good to be true” or not. He seems to be examining her the entire time almost like Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm does when he doesn’t know if he can trust someone. I would be doing the same.

They walk into the woods.
Ben: “These are redwood trees”
Penelope: “I knowwwww. Actually… I grew up in a redwood house with red wood floors and a redwood roof…acutallllyyyyy and… my dad actually invented redwood trees so I’m actually better than all the red woods…in the world.

The cocktail party was just mayhem. We really see cougars AKA Blakeley AKA Blake’s true colors. Blake actually gets the final rose!   She’s safe yet still tries to steal Ben away from anyone who may not have a lot of time with him so far. She takes him to the pool and they start to make out. The girls are all talking bad about her. They call her a stage 5 clinger and a horse face. Everyone is upset with Blakeley. She finds out, and for some reason she goes to the luggage room and cries in the corner, which makes no sense.  I think this was just an act to get Ben’s attention.

The highlight for me was the next interaction with crazy Jenna. This was amazing! She says, “if anything I’m thankful that you gave me a chance after the other night.” Ben responds simply with, “no problem.”

CUE THE SCARY HORROR MUSIC

Jenna – As she sabotages her last chance. “I’m not a girl. I feel like I’m not a girl.” What she is saying is making no sense. “I just want to start over, I just want to explain that I’m not like your typical girl.” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I think the real problem here is that you are actually, sadly crazy and take pills mixed with alcohol at the cocktail parties. More importantly, I think she was trying to tell Ben that she is a lesbian. I really think that Jenna may be a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with that but what else could she be trying to convey with her crazy talk?

I haven’t talked about Samantha yet. I call her the Curser. Sh4t, th*t Fuc8, Th8t Cougar Who*$&. She curses a lot.  I think shes the one that named Blakely Horse Face.

In the end Crazy Jenna goes home hopefully to seek real professional help and Shawn also goes home.

Final thoughts. Courtney may win and that would be terrible, terrible thing.  The world will hate her if she breaks his heart after the show ends. Blakeley scares the crap out of me and Samantha curses a lot. Brittany is growing on me a bit.

 

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