Reid’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 3
This blog is going to be much shorter than my prior two due to a lack of sleep and laziness. I started writing a pretty good song about this episode but then it quickly ran out of steam.
The Kasey and Vienna theme is just really old now and I’m sure many of you share my sentiment. I mean, come on! I’ve said it before but I can’t believe they still think that their strategy is going to take them to the end? If I were them I would have played a completely different strategy from the start. They would be much less annoying and disliked if they played every man for themselves but worked together behind the scenes to make sure their strategy was on the same page. Jake had it right when he said that they came in and hit the ground running, although he conveyed that message with a really weird drawn out quote. It went something like, “Kasey and Vienna are over exposed. (I agree) They have, like, come in sprinting and they are kind of starting to run out of gas a little bit and I’m hoping I can stay around long enough to poke a hole in their tank and watch one of them drive off a cliff.” I agree with him but the cliff part was a bit much. Yes, they will run out of gas if you poke a hole in their gas tank, I get that, but where does the cliff come in and how will running out of gas somehow make them drive off the cliff? Ok enough picking apart his analogy, Ill move on. My point is that there is no way in hell Kasey and Vienna make it to the end. In my opinion one of them is gone next episode.
This week’s synchronized swimming challenge was definitely quite entertaining. The girls were up first. Anyone would have guessed the girls would have won in this challenge but that was far from the truth. Once again Vienna claimed that her high school experience should lead to a win. Last time, it was softball and this time her experience on the high school swim team. Her “experience” has failed her once again. The most entertaining aspect of the girls’ team was definitely Tiara. In fact, Tiara stole the show in episode 3.
The girls had to dive into the pool to start their performance. Tiara says the closest thing she has ever done to synchronized swimming was lying out by a pool. I have to admit that she is seriously growing on me. She’s always quirky, and funny and I like that sort of consistency in this house. Watching Tiara try to dive in the pool was like watching a 5 year old learn how to dive at a YMCA. First you put your hands up over your head, then look down and lean forward into the pool. Her fun bags keep her afloat. Michelle looked like a real synchronized swimmer and takes the rose.
The guys were almost a bit too good. Watching the men in their speedos reminded me of the “Schmitts Gay” commercial from Saturday night live with Chris Farley and Adam Sandler. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then YouTube it. Jake was seriously into it and pretty good because he knew he had to win. He claimed that his training on Dancing With The Stars would help him with his technique. You were good Jake but no match to Mike Stagliano’s dance and choreography experience. It’s not surprising that Mike ends up with the rose.
Back to Tiara. The competition was supposed to be judged on three criteria: technical ability, effort and showmanship. Tiara seemed to throw all those criteria out the window and chose her favorite guy swimmer by package size. This is when she starts falling for Jake and wants to ally with him. I guess size does matter. After the competition Tiara and Jake were laying in bed together strategizing while Tiara uses her foot fetish to tell Jake that she’s into him.
Vienna may have liked Jake’s package too because all of a sudden, after being a bitch on wheels, decides to compliment Jake on his synchronized swimming skills. WTF? Kasey cant handle this and I don’t blame him. It’s not like their plan was going to work anyway but she definitely went completely against it by saying one nice thing to Jake. The cracks continue to show in Kasey and Vienna’s relationship. Kasey then put more dents in their game when making the mistake of calling Vienna out in front of others in the house. They are already annoyed with the drama between them. This may have been the final straw.
Kasey pulls Vienna aside and completely goes off on her saying things that completely reinforce my exact thoughts about her or at least how she is portrayed on TV. At that point he should have dumped her and formed another alliance. It would have been a brilliant/epic move and he would have earned the respect of everyone in the house. There is no salvaging the cracks that developed. It’s just a matter of time before they get kicked off now.
In other news, Michelle takes Graham, Kasey and Kirk on the date with her. Basically Michelle is falling in love with the reluctant Graham and gives him the rose after an uneventful date to a vineyard with great views.
Mike chooses Ella, Vienna and once again Holly to take on his date. Vienna annoys Ella after she complains about wearing a helmet and being hot on the horse. And once again Holly and Mike share a soap opera like moment as Dr. Bret Michaels talks relationships and sings them the symbolic “Every Rose has its Thorn.” They hold hands and the lyrics of the song make them realize that maybe they can workout the thorns in their rosy relationship.
More Tiara moments: The crystal gavel she now carries is an amazing addition to her character. Her best line was when she said she’s a good kisser because she maintains her lips with injections every 6 months!
The Kasey and Vienna promise ring scene is by far the most awkward moment since episode one where Jake introduces himself to Kasey. The roller coaster ride of their relationship continues. Kasey unveils a ring box. Vienna then ruins Kasey’s heart felt moment by saying that she hopes it isn’t an engagement ring. Red flag number 100, Kasey. I hope you don’t keep this relationship going. There have been plenty of dumping opportunities. Kasey then sings a Rick Astley-like a capella love song to Vienna in one of the most amazing television moments in history. It was almost intolerable. Men around the Nation were hiding their faces under pillows or howling like coyotes.
Melissa cries a lot.
Kirk ruins Jake’s attempt of getting everyone to vote for Kasey or so we think. The to be continued type ending puts this in question. I really hope he didn’t vote for Kasey. Why wouldn’t you change the tides in the house if given the opportunity? You have to know that Kasey and Vienna are eventually going to get booted, so why would you keep them?
I’m tired and sick of typing. Long week. Stay tuned for my episode 4 blog. Follow me on Twitter @reidrosenthal1