Michael Stagliano: Tears, Assault and Cattiness – Night 1 of The Bachelor

Welcome to The Bachelor ­– filled with tears, verbal assault, and cattiness. Ben’s season of The Bachelor should prove to entertain.

Lets start at the start, cool?

First, BEN!  Though I only got to meet him for minutes at the Bachelor Pad 2 Finale, there is something very warm and inviting about him.  The word that stood out to me the most when listening to the girls describe him was “sincere,” and while again, I can’t say I know Ben well at all that certainly seems to be his most shining quality.  It also seems like his sincerity will be paramount in keeping some of these girls strapped down and level headed this season.  It’s going to be a crazy 2 months ahead and I, for one, am glad to have Ben at the helm.  I am completely comfortable saying that he is a very good-looking guy, and not too good looking, you know?  He seems witty, and charming, has a great smile, tall, good hair…he is Bachelor material FO SHO. Throughout my blogs this season I will try to pick out key phrases of his that I like, that show his wit, charm and sense of humor that I have named: “Fla-nick nacks.”  This episode I picked out:

1. “Gotta love a good slug on the arm” after Shawn gave him a firm “buddy pat” like a quarterback would to a wide receiver in the NFL.

2. Though it’s not a direct quote, I was cracking up when he was “mocking” Emily and her rap…I think it shows that he is playful and has the ability to laugh at others and himself in a loving way.

3. When Lindzi said, “I’m glad it’s you.” And he immediately responded, “I am glad its YOU.”  For lack of a manlier way to say it…so cute.  He is the friggin’ BACHELOR and that little word-play with Lindzi shows that he doesn’t take himself seriously and considers others equally, if not more, important than he is…even when he is THE BACHELOR.  So dope.

Now, the ladies: definitely some winners in the bunch and I will say that I was pleased with Ben’s night-one picks but… holy craziness.  Obviously, Jenna is the emotional, even “unstable” one. I must say though that half way through the episode I really just wanted to give her a hug.  Perhaps, it is because my younger sister’s name is Jenna, but I also couldn’t help but feel bad for her.  Honestly, night one is a sh*t storm.  It’s like being at a frat party that goes until 5AM.  Please take my word for it; it is easy to lose your cool.  Jenna if you are reading this, keep your head up. :)

(Okay, I got sidetracked) Back to the ladies:

Girls I like:

Lindzi (a lot)… Loved the horse entrance, it wasn’t too much.  She seems to be the right fit for Ben, wasn’t shocked at all that she got the First Impression Rose.

Kacie B… The lover. Interested to learn more about her.

Shawn… Seems grounded and established in a career, love the motherly side with her son Gavin.

Emily… Man was it a cheese-fest, but I’ve got to say I like the Purell/mouth spray first-kiss combo.  Even the rap was super clever and funny if you really listened to it.

Girls I like…not so much:

Holly: (hahaha, yea…yea I am sure you all know why I don’t love this one ;) ) I just think that hat was out of control.  I was immediately distracted and it covered her face…not a good choice.

Erika:  ”The verdict” line was brutal…I covered my eyes while she said it.

Amber (Baconator):  How does that happen?  How does no one tell her before she goes on National Television…”DON’T CALL YOURSELF BACONATOR!” Someone immediately thinks of, oh gosh, I don’t know…pigs, bacon, Wendy’s, large truck drivers… Are any of these words/images, things you want a man to think about when looking at you? Yikes.

Samantha:  The pageant sash.  While it is impressive and I do understand that pageants are much more than a beauty contest, it takes character, poise and talent to win one. It’s just very loud, forward and off-putting to “wear” an accomplishment like that the first night.

Girl I love (Yeah, I am a one woman man):

Nikki:  Looked beautiful, soft spoken, tender, charming, great smile/laugh.  Got butterflies when I saw this one :)  And despite her occupation in dentistry (and we all know how I feel about dentists, hahaha) She was stunning.  #love

Stand out moments:

A.  ”Share a tampon.” That line from Jenna, dropped my jaw.  Not only is the mental image horrific, but also I can’t imagine a context where that would ever be “ok” to say. Thank you ABC for supplying one.

B.  The lezzy love between Monica and Blakeley was outstanding. I know when I drink I get super affectionate so I can’t totally bash her on that one.  But I would bet my BP2 winnings that it is not the end of the MB love affair.  It was like Grey’s Anatomy…only terrible to watch.

C.  Ben’s interview before the ladies arrived was pretty cookie cutter to me.  Nothing special, but I couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that Ben and Chris wore the EXACT same outfit.  And I am not even knocking Ben here…Chris is a phenomenal dresser.  I’d steal from his wardrobe constantly if I were allowed.  Much love CH.

D.  Jenna being “late” to the rose ceremony.  Oh god.  This was like watching a pedophile in a day care, and having armed SWAT with shotguns loaded, standing around the room…waiting.  You honestly didn’t know if she was going to pull her hair out and attack Monica, or pass out, go rip her clothes off and maul Ben.  Now again, I feel bad for Jenna so I don’t mean to make fun of her.  I do mean to point out that THAT moment of the show was awkward city and Jenna was the Mayor.  Yikes.

The preview for what’s ahead was a doozy.  I think that there are dark clouds ahead, thunder and lightening is certainly on the radar, but despite the ominous black figured (even cloaked) women at the ending, saying she had an emotional 180 and isn’t ready to be a wife… I think Ben will pull through and will find his way into clear blue skies.

That is my hope anyway…

Thank you for reading :)  Check out www.michaelstaglianomusic.com if you’d like to hear some of my music, see some pictures, and get info on my little US and Canada Tour.  The “Love Like This” Tour… small acoustic shows, just me, you and lots of hugs :)

I also want to finish by saying thanks to ABC, NZK and everyone involved in the production.   You make the adventure possible and very rarely thanked for it.  It hasn’t always been the smoothest ride, and with bumps in the road, tears, some hard conversations and having them be involved with 3 years of my life now.  I must say, that I have never been happier and a large part of that is because the opportunity that they gave me, and that they give us all who boldly step into that mansion

Much love to everyone in 2012.

May your days be long and productive, your nights filled with restful sleep and colorful dreams.  And if you haven’t figured out what it’s all about yet…

…I promise you it has everything to do with #love


  1. I absolutely loved the first episode. I wasn’t a big “Ben” fan (lol), but I have to say that after this episode, he is starting to grow on me.

    I do feel like there was something more to Ben picking Jenna, and how convenient it was that Monica was picked too. My head tells me it’s an ABC ratings game…got to have some drama right?

    This show is one of my all time favorites. I really enjoy reading your blog and will stay posted.

    Thanks! Kimber / Austin, Texas

    Comment by Kimber Snipes — January 3, 2012 @ 9:17 pm

  2. This is by far the best bach blog I have read. You are too hilarious! Will definitely be reading each week! P.S. Your music is incredible – so talented!

    Comment by Courtney — January 3, 2012 @ 9:38 pm

  3. Hello …Love reading what other people are thinking on the show and you are such a great guy thanks for sharing. Are you going to be coming to London, Ontario at all in your Canadian tour?? OR anywhere close??….take care

    Comment by J — January 3, 2012 @ 11:04 pm

  4. Great blog!! Definitely the best ive read as well. Best of luck with your music!!

    Ps. You are adorable.

    Comment by Jen m — January 3, 2012 @ 11:54 pm

  5. U need to be the next bachelor! ABC would hit the jackpot! Plus everyone loves you!!!

    Comment by Meredith — January 4, 2012 @ 1:01 am

  6. I love this blog. Your comments are spot on. Could you put your name in the title though? I didn’t know this was your blog at first.

    Comment by Phoebe — January 4, 2012 @ 1:15 am

  7. Michael I loved your blog!! So funny and spot on!! I’m really looking forward to reading your blog every week. Good Luck with your music..I hope to catch one of your shows one day soon! @HoldonLoosely88 xoxo

    Comment by Lisa — January 4, 2012 @ 1:37 am

  8. You’re a natural writer Michael! I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about next week’s episode! P.S. I love your music Michael….you could sing the Phone Book and it would still sound amazing! Keep up the nice work with the blogs!!!! XOXOXO

    Comment by Andrea — January 4, 2012 @ 2:50 am

  9. Finally a blog I will read! Michael great job I am still laughing about some of your comments. Perhaps your fellow cast mates should read your blog to understand how to write something that does not offend anyone! I have to ask this next question. I am curioous why EVERY former cast member feels the need to blog, be on a talk show, etc about the current season? Does no one have a real job that they go back to when he show is over or is this a case of needing another 15 minutes of so called fame? I don’t get it or is Jesse the one who keeps this going? I hope at some point everyone will move on and find a job and a partner that keeps them so busy they don’t have time to blog! Except you Michael since your blogs are nice and do not offend anyone!!!

    Comment by samantha — January 4, 2012 @ 2:52 am

  10. I’m so glad I saw a link for this on twitter! I didn’t know you were blogging the episodes. Perfect! Such a good recap. You’re my favorite. Can’t wait for the next one.

    Comment by Sarah — January 4, 2012 @ 2:55 am

  11. I love that so many of the bachelor “family” is writing a blog. I absolutely love keeping up with everyone. The last few years things have gotten better and better with all of the ex’s staying in touch with each other and all of the wonderful things they all do to give back. I follow them on twitter and I love it! I love to see where life takes them. I am amazed at how many get together regularly. Even if they live all over the US they get together. One of my pet peeves is when someone that was on the show previously complain about the show and Mike Fleiss. No one made them go on there. Also, most of them have made money and found a degree of fame for being on there. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!

    Comment by Suzette — January 4, 2012 @ 3:52 am

  12. Great blog and great website. You’re a very funny man.

    Comment by Elizabeth — January 4, 2012 @ 7:05 pm

  13. You are a funny funny man! Great blog. Love from Denmark

    Comment by Thiller — January 4, 2012 @ 11:26 pm

  14. “Gotta love a good slug on the arm” – Line of the show

    Comment by Jennifer — January 5, 2012 @ 12:56 am

  15. when are you going to be the next Bachelor? !!

    Comment by Lauren — January 5, 2012 @ 6:33 pm

  16. Michael, you are hilarious and ALWAYS make me laugh, so i say a BIG THANKYOU :-) you really cheered me up.

    Comment by Anna — January 8, 2012 @ 11:38 am

  17. Micheal, I so enjoy your blogs, I started with week 5 and worked my way back. :) You have pegged alot of this very well, keep up the great work. :)

    Comment by Caroline Connor — February 1, 2012 @ 7:01 am

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