Ashley Spivey’s Blog: The Baconator, bad dresses, and tampons – The Bachelor is back!

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been a year since I was on the show! However, we’re onto the 16th season of the Bachelor and I’m excited to watch Ben’s journey to finding love. I’m also super excited that he got rid of that awful hairstyle he had at the end of Ashley’s season! Let’s get started!

Which producer is giving them the idea that sunhearts are cute? Did Kacie not watch us make fun of Ryan all the time for doing this? Regardless, I think Kacie is adorable and she’s already one of my favorites for the season!

Why in Jesus’ name would anyone everyone ever think that it’s a good idea to go on national TV and profess that you like to eat cow balls? TMI Amber!

This is the only time we will ever see Courtney looking rough – I can’t deny that she is absolutely gorgeous! I know the previews show that she doesn’t seem to get along with any of the girls in the house but I thought her, “Screw you and the horse you rode in on,” comment was pretty funny. Maybe she’s just the Michelle Money of this season?

Does Chris Harrison age? I’m serious! Dude looks younger than he did a couple of months ago!
Let’s move on to the limo intros! I have to admit that I wasn’t too impressed with this batch of girls’ style choices. The only dresses I really liked for the night were Kacie and Nicki’s dresses!

Never EVER tell a guy that your friends commonly call you the most calorie filled burger at Wendy’s. Seriously – the Baconator has 1330 calories and is one of the 41 most deadly fast food items you can order. I’m pretty sure Ben doesn’t want a taste!

Did anyone catch that Ben zipped up his fly/maybe had a boner after Courtney introduced herself and walked back into the house? What was going on down there Ben?

I thought Emily had the cutest intro of the night! I might be a little biased because she’s a North Carolina girl :)

I don’t know whether to be terrified of Lyndsie or laugh along with her? I do like that she has a great sense of humor and seems to have no problem making fun of herself but you definitely shouldn’t point out your butt chin within 2 minutes of meeting the guy you like.

I wish Shawn had shown more of her cute, caring mom side rather than slugging Ben on the arm. Shawn, you just slugged your way into the friend zone!

Lindzi’s entrance cannot be topped. It might be the most original entrance I’ve ever seen and it definitely made a great first impression! Duh, of course she’s going to get the first impression rose!

I also really liked Nicki, who went through a young divorce but she hasn’t let that make her pessimistic about love. She seems to have a happy and bubbly personality!

Grandma Sheryl was awesome! I think it was really cute that Brittney brought her on the show and I couldn’t understand why some girls in the house were being so mean about her. Someone said, “It smells like Grandma.” That’s just mean! Shame on you!

Emily’s rap was cute. Ben’s seal clap was not.

Courtney and Ben had a pretty flirty conversation and I think her confidence really puts Ben at ease. Plus, I’m sure she’s not hard to look at.

I really do feel for Jenna – I do. It’s never fun to have all of America think that you are emotionally unstable after you have a huge crying fit on national TV. I can speak from experience. However, this exchange that she had with Monica was not a good idea. You should NEVER EVER be this confrontational with someone on the first night. I will give Monica a little break during this exchange – it is impossible to feel something for a person after a brief convo. Feelings really don’t start to happen until you have multiple conversations or after a date. There was another girl on my season that brought the feelings issue up on the 2nd night in the house and it put a HUGE target on her back!

However crazy Jenna was being though, Monica was a little aggressive about the whole thing. Maybe Jenna was being silly but that isn’t a reason to say, multiple times, that you will punch her in the face. Do you ladies even realize that y’all are being filmed?

Apparently Monica doesn’t know that she’s being filmed because she started putting the moves on Blakeley. Guess Monica does have feelings for someone in the house…

Jenna’s exchanges with Ben were some of the most awkward moments I’ve ever seen on this show and I can’t believe that she held a rose ceremony up. Do you know late those rose ceremonies occur? By the end of the first night you are so exhausted, emotionally and physically, that I would be super angry at someone who was being that dramatic. Get it together girl! Represent us New Yorkers better!

Speaking of awkward, this is the weirdest and grossest thing I’ve ever heard uttered on this show. Not classy Jenna! Ugh – y’all are making me want to give classes to girls who are thinking about going on this show about how to act on camera!

There weren’t really any surprises at the rose ceremony except for Ben keeping Jenna. I pretty much knew that Lyndsie, Holly, Dianna, Anna, Amber T, Baconator, and Shira were going to go home!
With that said, my top 5 favorite girls are Lindzi, Jamie, Nicki, Emily and Rachel! Who did y’all like? Who didn’t you like? Did you like the first impression rose recipient? Do you wish he had sent Jenna home?

29 Comments »

  1. Best blog, hilarious. Love you, Ashley~~~

    Comment by Linds — January 6, 2012 @ 9:43 pm

  2. Your blog was hilarious! I loved all the pictures. Can’t wait to read the next one Ashley!

    Comment by Keleigh — January 6, 2012 @ 10:19 pm

  3. Um cannot agree more with the whole air heart thing. I literally cringe when I see people do it on television. I’m rooting for Brittney/Grandma and horse girl!

    Nice commentary!

    Comment by Andrea — January 6, 2012 @ 10:22 pm

  4. YES on so many things! Especially the sun heart! Love your recaps. :)

    Comment by Erin — January 6, 2012 @ 10:27 pm

  5. My gut instinct is telling me Kacie B all the way! Maybe she flopped with the sun heart thing but I saw an undeniable spark between her and Ben.

    Comment by Brittany — January 6, 2012 @ 10:31 pm

  6. I LOVE your perspective! So genuine, real & hysterical. My favorite recap by far! I hope Ben finds his perfect match. :)

    Comment by Rosie — January 6, 2012 @ 11:02 pm

  7. Hilarious!!! Hahahahaha! Love it! You are so gorgeous & funny! Can not wait to read your blogs every week! I really liked Lindzie & Nicki too! :)

    Comment by Brittney — January 6, 2012 @ 11:14 pm

  8. Ha! This cracks me up.
    I have to say the sarcastic tampon remark from Jenna was hilarious!

    Comment by Carrie — January 6, 2012 @ 11:22 pm

  9. Thank you Linds!

    Thanks Keleigh – I’ll be back next week!

    Andrea – the airhearts have to STOP :)

    Thank Erin! Let’s stop them!

    Brittany – Kacie B and Ben def do have a spark – I don’t hold the sunheart against her ;)

    Thanks Rosie! – I hope so too!

    Thanks Brittney – both girls are so pretty and sweet!

    Carrie – I laughed too, but more in a “at her” way than a “with her” way! Maybe she’ll redeem herself!

    Comment by Ashley Spivey — January 6, 2012 @ 11:54 pm

  10. Completely agree Ashley. Love the same girls.Also the girl who raised her siblings.You are so hysterical. You def are the best blogger of everyone. Hate to say it although she is pretty ( she has a wierd mouth) I think Ben ends up with her. Most chemistry of the night by far.

    Comment by Deb — January 7, 2012 @ 12:01 am

  11. Kacie B will win! I love her and Ben together.

    Comment by Steph — January 7, 2012 @ 12:04 am

  12. Ashley – great blog. I’m a single dude living in NYC, got any girlfriends interested in a southern gentleman?

    Comment by Nick — January 7, 2012 @ 12:11 am

  13. Great recap, as always! What surprised me the most was how snarky Ben can be. It’s about time we had a smart ass Bachelor. I hope he keeps it up. Can you imagine how quickly the drama will dry up if he laughs at these wack jobs? It would take just one WTH?

    Comment by MrFrostings — January 7, 2012 @ 12:21 am

  14. I was freaking out when Ben kept Jenna. My friends and I watch the show religiously and wondered if the producers made Ben keep her.
    I like your top 5, but I thought you said Kacie was one of your favorites. That’s who I’m rooting for!
    Great blog! Keep up the good work!

    Comment by Kendra — January 7, 2012 @ 1:29 am

  15. You were one of my favorites on your season! Love you and so excited you’re writing this blog. It’ll be fun to hear your thoughts every week.

    Comment by Emily — January 7, 2012 @ 2:12 am

  16. Always look forward to your recap blogs! Photo captions are THE best!!

    Comment by Lydia — January 7, 2012 @ 2:33 am

  17. nice blog. I was expecting Jenna to go home on the first rose ceremony.She did nothing but to put herself on shame..She got no class at all.freikin’ drunk!

    Comment by grace perez — January 7, 2012 @ 4:22 am

  18. so true re Chris Harrison. Was thinking the same thing. you probably won’t say it – but i’m no great fan of ben’s – so i will…waiting for him to say he understands what ashley went thru while making decisions on her season!!

    Comment by Lola — January 7, 2012 @ 5:52 am

  19. Ben is a frat boy and looks like the Gieco caveman with that forehead. He needs to cut the hair, go to a stylist, that style went out in 1980, and he has no personality and one expression. Not watching, but will read your blogs, for a laugh.

    Comment by Megan — January 7, 2012 @ 6:41 am

  20. You are hilarious! And spot on. I laugh so hard reading your blog. I’m more excited to read your re cap than watch the show itself!

    Comment by Katie — January 7, 2012 @ 10:18 pm

  21. Great Blog Ashley! I must tell you that you and Peyton (from Andy Baldwin’s season) have been my favorite contestants. Congrats to Peyton and Chris on their engagement!! Anyway I really enjoy your blog and appreciate your perspective and humorous insight. Keep up the good work!!

    Comment by Gail — January 8, 2012 @ 2:57 am

  22. I loved reading this blog! All so very true! Haha. Can’t wait to read next weeks!

    Comment by Ashley — January 8, 2012 @ 3:40 am

  23. I wish the intros were a bit more “normal” – I wanted to see which girls Ben had natural chemistry with from the get-go. Some of the “props” were just too extreme. Yes, the horse was freaking Amazing with a capital A, but seriously, I was not impressed with Grandma. I also thought it was hilarious Samantha said she was “more than a pageant girl,” yet wore her sash AND kept it on all night? Same goes for the big hat lady…

    I want to know why Ben gave a rose to crazy-acting, more-interested-in-women-than-Ben Monica! And lime green dress slugger Shawn, too. Shawn should color her hair and audition for Jersey Shore.

    And why didn’t Ben keep Amber B.? Wasn’t she the labor and delivery nurse? Because of the bacon? Or too young or what? Did I miss her intro? Without a doubt, this was the strangest first episode of The Bachelor/Bachelorette.

    Finally, as a Nebraska native, I’ve got to stand up for the Heartland! I promise not everyone’s food choices are the same as Amber T.’s. (Although “Rocky Mountain oysters” are considered a delicacy to some, and in the Midwest, there are actually ‘annual’ (not every day) events dubbed “Ball Blasts” in which the main dish is none other than bull testicles!) It killed me how the producers not only had a shot of a tractor, but had her shooting guns AND wearing none other than CAMO! Stereotype much? ;)

    I like Lindzi, Jamie, Rachel, Courtney and Nicki. Emily is growing on me. Can’t remember much about Kacie other than her cute sparkly dress.

    Need more time for Elyse, Jennifer, Blakely and Casey S. N-O for Jenna, Samantha and Monica. Erika, Brittany, Jaclyn who? Maybe some of these already got the boot and I just missed it!

    Comment by Lindsey — January 8, 2012 @ 7:39 am

  24. I just wanted to let you know that I loved your blog, and look forward to others in the future. You put a good name on reality TV by being a perfect mixture of funny, kind, classy, positive, and genuine.

    Comment by Ashley Fan — January 8, 2012 @ 7:40 am

  25. LOVE the blog!! You are a hoot girl!!! Anyway, my faves are Kacie B and Lindzi the horse girl!! I always go with my gut on things and they just seemed like really good people you know?? Did NOT get a good vibe from Courtney…and I’m sorry, but am I the only one that doesn’t find her attractive??? I truly don’t…personality wise and looks. Something rubs me the wrong way with her. I can’t wait to read more from you, truly you crack me up!! Have a great day!!

    Comment by Kim — January 8, 2012 @ 4:03 pm

  26. We love you Ashley! Keep up the great blogs!

    Comment by Bachelor Blogger — January 9, 2012 @ 12:26 am

  27. Great breakdown! Love your take on the girl and DRAMA! Noticed your tweets about tonight’s episode and I’m super ready for it to be Bachelor time in my house again. Can’t wait to see what your second look at the girls will be.

    Comment by Crystal Nuckols — January 9, 2012 @ 5:14 pm

  28. Love Jamie (the 1 who raised her siblings), Love Lindzi, and Love Kacie B. HATE Courtney and Blakeley. And no, I think Courtney is DEFINITELY over rated. She is NOT that cute. She doesn’t even smile. And when she’s not being MEAN to other women, her personality is just Flat. I really hope Ben still gives the other ladies a fair shot and not already make up in his mind that Courtney is “the one” like Brad did with Emily, or like Ashley almost did with Bently. I hope someone removes the wool from infront of Ben’s eyes before he sends home “the real one”. And I can’t wait for the moment when Ben realizes that what Ashley had to do last seaskn was NOT easy. And I LOVE you Ashley! I was so sad to see them put both of you Ashleys together on that date – I wanted to see more of you – I at least wanted to see you get far enough to be considered as a “future Bachelorette”. I love you & can’t wait to read yer blog next week!!!

    Comment by Jayne' Morales — January 10, 2012 @ 7:22 pm

  29. Ben Flajnik storm horse cream dreams http://vixelyblog.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/exclusive-cream-dreams-video-by-ben-f-from-the-bachelorette/

    Comment by charles — February 15, 2012 @ 6:21 am

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