Well folks, we’ve officially arrived at the Women Tell All episode, the yearly catfight we’re rewarded with for watching 10 weeks of The Bachelor. Granted I haven’t seen very many of these, but this one definitely delivered. Since there wasn’t much in the way of plot in this episode, I’ll stay true to the catfight theme and pick out a few winners and losers from the fracas.

Winner: Brittney owned up to not being attracted to Ben, and left on her own accord to give more time to those who actually felt something for him. She was both honest and respectable. I’d like to say I would have done the same; but who knows? I was a little disappointed that her grandmother Sheryl didn’t come out to play, but perhaps our love is best left to my imagination.

Loser: Samantha. She’s gorgeous, but good lord that girl wouldn’t shut up. Thankfully Brittney (win #2!) put her in her place. I bet every time Samantha sees a chihuahua for the rest of her life she’ll have to fight the urge to kick it.

Winner: Emily. She was insightful, well-spoken, and looked HOT in that dress. My only complaint is that the lack of straps made me waste my precious few remaining brain cells wondering how much double-sided tape she used to keep her boobs from falling out. Which actually brings me to…

Winner: Every husband and/or boyfriend who was forced to watch this episode by his woman thanks you, Emily. Your wit and intellect made it all worthwhile. What? That’s what I’d name them if they were mine. Or maybe The Captain and Tennille. I don’t know, it’s a toss-up.

Loser: Jenna. Poor chick went all “Girl, Interrupted” in front of America and she barely got 10 seconds of air time at the WTA. Maybe if it were called WTF, they’d have focused on her a little more.

Winner: Shawntel. She was beautiful and classy, as always, and received some much-deserved apologies from the girls who treated her so rudely. You can embalm my cold, lifeless body anytime, chica.

Hmm, that sounded much sexier in my head.

Loser: Jamie. She told Ben if things didn’t work out with whoever he picked she would totally get fancy with him again, whereupon his penis promptly crawled up into his body cavity.

Winner: Elyse’s tanning salon. Good lord.

Loser: Me, for not going to that reunion. Looks like I missed my chance to be on Bachelor Pad 3.

Winner: Kacie B. She didn’t say or do anything particularly noteworthy, but she’s beautiful, sweet and seems very down-to-earth, so she’s always a winner in my book. I hear she’s a Vols fan, but she got the color orange right at least (Go Tigers!), so she gets a pass. Ditto for Nicki (except for the Vols part).

Loser: Anyone trying to figure out if Courtney’s a decent person or not. Do you take her for who she is around Ben–sweet, goofy and funny? Or do you take her for who she was around the other ladies–cruel, vindictive and snide? Do you trust her apology and her tears of remorse at the WTA, or do you assume her acting coach and agent have been working some overtime the past several weeks? I’m lost…I really am.

Winner: Jennifer. She didn’t really stand out to me as much as some of the other girls during the season, but boy did she look stunning last night. Hellooooo, nurse accountant!

So that’s it. Wow, I actually wrote a short blog for once. I’m so proud of myself I could cry. If only I could find the right acting coach…


  1. OMG I seriously laughed out loud!! You hit the nail on the head with Jenna getting more screen time if only the show were called WTF!!!!

    Love it, thanks!

    Comment by Heather — March 7, 2012 @ 1:46 pm

  2. Another great one, West!

    Comment by Tracey — March 7, 2012 @ 2:03 pm

  3. You’re so funny loving your blogs always keep up the good work. Courtney acting coach is my uncle. LOL Courtney is a liar and a bully

    Comment by tilys — March 7, 2012 @ 2:42 pm

  4. You are hot. You are cool. I like you. haha

    Comment by Rachel — March 7, 2012 @ 3:00 pm

  5. I don’t get the people who are confused by Courtney. Maya Angelou wisely said, “when people show you who they are – BELIEVE them.” Courtney was that mean to the women UNprovoked AND she was charming to Ben. Notice I said charming – NOT kind. The girl knows how to play games. Not to compare the level of evilness, but more that even the worst people have a charming good side – that doesn’t mean that the entirety of who they are is good b/c there is so much rotten there, but even Hitler had a girlfriend and was probably nice to his friends – I am sure the people who have a problem w/ him murdering 6 mil innocent people would still not think that was enough to make him a good person.

    Comment by Leslie — March 7, 2012 @ 3:47 pm

  6. Winner: Your blog, funny without being harsh

    Loser: Any bach alumni who thinks overly bashing their new “colleagues” is cool

    Comment by Bach fan — March 7, 2012 @ 3:49 pm

  7. Omg. She won …… Winner…..for how long?????

    Comment by Helen — March 7, 2012 @ 5:08 pm

  8. enjoyable read. Thanks and I think I agree with almost everything you said. I will point out that although Jennifer is beautiful and came across a very sweet girl on the show, she disappointed me at the WTA when she put down Blakely saying why would he choose to bring her to meet his mom over her. Well I thought it was a classless act and I actually felt sorry for Blakely in that moment.

    Comment by melissa — March 7, 2012 @ 6:02 pm

  9. Ben Flajnik Cream Dream http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWt_DifczOM

    Comment by andy — March 7, 2012 @ 7:53 pm

  10. You’re back! Missed your blogs, Mr. West Lee. You are very funny and had me once again literally laughing out loud, which is hard to do. OMG “poor Jenna went all Girl, Interrupted…WTF?”

    I do think Courtney’s apology was sincere and that she was really crying. She’s not the nicest person in the world, and neither were all the other women – Fleiss just chose to hone in on Courtney, making her the villain of the season, prompting and feeding her…though girl’s got some issues no doubt.

    Please write a recap for next week! Thank you!

    Comment by Jolene — March 7, 2012 @ 10:42 pm

  11. Funny, funny stuff. I think wit and intellect already belong to you, just not in the specific forms you may have mentioned.

    Comment by old lady — March 7, 2012 @ 10:50 pm

  12. @ Leslie OMG you’re bringing HITLER into this??? You’re comparing Courtney to a psychopathic mass murderer? You have totally bought into the editing and manipulative nature of this show…has it ever occurred to you that Courtney might not have been unprovoked, that everyone could see she was a threat from the moment Ben laid eyes on her, that the producers could have been telling her how much the girls hated her…there are a million things that could have happened that we don’t know about. Plenty of the girls were nasty (remember how they treated Blakely and Shawntel?) and said atrocious things. Ardent Courtney haters have totally been Fleissed – and so has she. I feel bad for the girl. Fleiss purposely sets out to ruin someone’s reputation/life for the sake of ratings.

    Comment by Jolene — March 7, 2012 @ 10:50 pm

  13. It is true that the delivery of a message is influenced by tone of voice, clarity of what you are saying, and your personal connection to the person saying it. In any case, this relating to Samantha, and what you wrote, I believe that because of her foul delivery on the WTA, she didn’t really convey the message that she sought to deliver-basically that Blakeley was a bully in her eyes (as much or may be more than Courtney ever was to the women).
    Thanks to Jolene above for balancing out/ logically addressing the Hilter comment in association with Courtney. There needs to be support to believe that she had the intention of violently ending the lives of people in order for the comparison to be a rational one!

    Comment by Lola — March 8, 2012 @ 9:26 am

  14. I agree with most everything….but like someone mentioned above….Jennifer would NOT fall in the winner category in my book. She looked stunning and when she was on the show seemed quite sweet and sincere. However, she was very rude on WTA towards Blakeley (saying more than once that she was flabbergasted that Ben would choose to keep Blakeley over herself. Then again re-emphasizing that when Ben came out….saying why would he choose to take her to meet his family?) I thought that lacked some class. It was a bit disappointing. Apparently, she also demonstrated the “rude” walk of Shawntel breezing past the women upon her first arrival to the Bachelor mansion. Shawntel had stated that Jennifer was one of the only women who was nice to her that day. Apparently, Jennifer was not necessarily being all that sincere if she can come on WTA and proceed to make fun of Shawntel.

    Comment by aly — March 8, 2012 @ 4:38 pm

  15. My favorite- Elyse’s tanning salon-good lord.

    Good Lord! That was hilarious! I’m still laughing! Thank you for that:)

    Comment by Stephanie — March 8, 2012 @ 5:48 pm

  16. Winner : Who thinks producers got something to do with Courtney’s meanness. It’s their fault.

    Never in Bachelor/ette history they showed last 2 on the WTA or MTA. Why they did this ? The producers felt guilty for Courtney to be judged by the other girls and people who watched the show. In order to ‘save her face (and might be Ben too), they asked Courtney to apologize.

    Looser : Who thinks that Emily is hot and smart. She has to act ‘wisely’ in order to cover her shit by talking shit about Courtney to Ben.. She’s not hot at all. Lindzie is..and of course Courtney. Like i said on Natalie’s blog earlier, not only Courtney is hot but also she is stylish (well she’s a model of course she knows how to put things together).. I think the most gorgeous women in the entire bachelor/ette history are Courtney and Emily Maynard !

    Comment by Chloe — March 8, 2012 @ 6:18 pm

  17. OK My comments
    1. Emily- i am not impressed with her behavior at all. All season she was putting down Courtney and she seemed like a lead instigator of antagonism in the house against Courtney, and she comes off as very self righteous. She also expect men to kiss her azz. Her comment “if a man treated me like that..when he should say..i respect you and la la la” Well real world in the moment things dont go always so scripted..She is looking for Mr Perfect she will have a long road ahead of her.
    2. Nicki and Kacie- Good lord watching them in the hot seat was like watching a minister usher a funeral..Had to take a shot of vodka to cheer me up after those two. I dont get how Kacie is Americas sweetheart..Go to the South Im from Alabama and Kacie Bs ae at every local pub and hair salon..tons of them types all over the place.
    3. Courtney- Well she is by far “her and Casie S” the hottest two chicks this season. I dont think she is as evil as we think..remember lots of this is edit..they could have made Kacie B into the villain if they wanted to (Kacie made many bad remarks this season)
    4. Lidzi- She is boring. Sure there was a reason why she got a text’Welcome to Dumpsville’ I think any man who get her will be bored to death after 2-3 months in the relationship..her X lasted 2 years..give her X all the kudos he deserves lasting that long.
    5. Jenifer- True colors..Wow talk about ‘princess’ mentality. She thinks she is the reincarnation of Aphrodite. She is chubby, and pushing what 28 now.. let me give her a few numbers.. 0- The number of men that are sexually attracted to you!
    6. Ames- Talk about self centered egotistical. I see on Wet Paint the dude has 20+ pics of ‘himself’ with all the chicks from this season and some are so obviously Photoshoped. Yes Ames we understand your a trust fund baby that has no job but go chase down former contestants and go after 15 year old Thia boys.

    Comment by Rob — March 8, 2012 @ 9:13 pm

  18. wow…some of courtney’s supporter just come out..i dont buy her apologise. she did off course, to save her face. she needs a good publicity for her, whatever role she want to chase for join this show. let’s be honest..people like courtney didnt need this show to find someone..she dated photografer, actor, Actress manager etc etc..and suddenly she need this show to find a man ??? oh come on…
    she needs popularity..and she thought it was funny way to make fun of other girls..
    you know, the words she said to the other girls is like the same way in comedy drama..unfortunetely for her, this one is not 100% drama..there’s at least 50% reality where another girl didnt get the script what they’re supposed to talk back.

    i dont believe Courtney is sincere, but i dont think she’s the most evil one. some of the other girls share the same evil behaviour…if Ben keep Shawntell, we can see how they’ll act with Shawntell. my bet, they’re not different…the worse news is, Courtney will leave the show.

    all in all…most of the girl this season is …evil..

    Comment by angel — March 8, 2012 @ 10:34 pm

  19. Actually I don’t see why everyone has so much bad to say about Courtney…From my perspective i can say that shes incredibly gorgeous woman, she has something that most of woman desires, that’s why I think, everyone gets crazy when Courtney is in picture. Yeah of course I cant say that she is an angel, but there is more than interesting watching her, than some others from “paradise” – for example Emily.I really hope that Courtney takes her man Ben and leaves everyone with sh* in their mouth!Good luck, wish you both the best! Thnx for making this show watchable.
    Best of wishes from Europe.

    Comment by Winni — March 9, 2012 @ 6:45 am

  20. Loser: Ben- How does he have the nerve to come out and say “welcome to my nightmare”. He disrespected all those women when he went skinny dipping and failed to listen politely to all the concerned girls who tried to warn him of Courtney.

    The only way Ben can redeem himself and prove he is a gentleman like Brad Womack or JP, is to stick it out with Courtney, and fight for their relationship. A coward will walk away and let the media, and everyone else’s judgement affect his relationship.

    Comment by Jacquie — March 9, 2012 @ 7:45 am

  21. Congrats, It looks like you have finally been able to get some of Courtney’s family to leave comments.

    Comment by Divr — March 9, 2012 @ 12:55 pm

  22. Jacquie said(Loser: Ben- How does he have the nerve to come out and say “welcome to my nightmare”. He disrespected all those women when he went skinny dipping and failed to listen politely to all the concerned girls who tried to warn him of Courtney.)
    ** I totally agree! And he calls meeting 25 hot women, going to exotic places, staying at 5 star hotels, sleeping with 5 of the women during his escapade..and he calls that a nightmare.Sorry but most 28 year old single men in the USA would only dream of that opportunity..yes Dream..a fantasy dream at that..surely no nightmare..What a douchebag!
    I don’t think Courtney is that bad. I think a lot of it was editing. She seemed nice and soft on the WTA and the hometown dates and the time in Switzerland.

    Comment by Thomas Knight — March 10, 2012 @ 11:39 pm

  23. I have been glued to this season, and I have to admit, some of the episodes I had to watch over again, because Courtney was so wishy washy. She is the type of person that tells you what you want to hear so you will like her. In life, that gets you no where but hurt and disliked. She has it coming the way she treated those other women. I would not want her to be someone in my life.
    As for the other women, they were so awesome. I enjoyed Kasie B. the most. What a delightful person she is. Nikki was so cool too!! ( I love the Stockyards, Nikki. One of my favorite places to go.) I know you loved him Nikki…but believe me you can do so much better, in TX. than to get stuck with Ben. Him and Courtney are so self centered and they deserve each other. And last but not least…The only people who won in this season, are the women. “WINNING”. NOW THAT’S FUNNY.

    Comment by Kim H. — March 11, 2012 @ 12:13 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment